A Message from Gen Z to Parents

Dear Parents,

In an increasingly technologically dependent world, it is crucial for all ages to find a healthy balance between screens and life. However, it is especially important to place attention upon the generation that has been affected by technology and social media, the greatest- generation Z. In order to protect the mental health and healthy development of this generation, there must be conversations to help spread awareness and advocacy for the issues and dangers of this digital world. These conversations begin in the household, and as children get older and start to become more independent, there may be some tech disagreements between the parent and the teenager regarding tech use. This is where proper communication and empathy is essential in understanding the perspective of your teenager. The following article will provide tips and methods on how to approach challenges and conversations regarding tech use with your teenager.

As you approach the period of adolescence with your child, it is important to understand the psychology of this particular time in their development. Adolescence is a crucial time for self-exploration and independence. During this time, you may find that your teenager will want to branch out to explore new interests, hobbies, and passions. But one of the greatest aspects of adolescence is managing a social life and finding a group of people besides one’s family to navigate life with. Socialization during adolescence is crucial for mental and emotional health and plays a large role in the self-esteem of a teenager. This is one of the reasons parents may struggle with their teenager becoming more distant with them. Adolescents realize they are growing older and soon they will have to ‘leave the nest.’ They find it comforting to find people their own age to overcome the obstacles of the teenage years because it is something they can all relate to. Social media in particular helps teenagers connect and bond with others their own age. Understanding the importance of socialization during adolescence can help the parent empathize with their teen’s need to connect with other people besides those they are related to. However, when the need to connect and constantly feel a sense of validation from social media becomes obsessive in a teenager, this is when it is time to have a conversation.

1. Listening

Listening is a powerful tool that helps us empathize, comprehend, and respect others. When you are having a conversation with your teenager about social media and technology, whether it be agreements or disagreements, it is important to be completely present and listen to what they are saying to try and understand their perspective. This will allow them to know you respect them and where they are coming from without disregarding their thoughts.

Today, parents were raised in a completely different generation than teenagers. One where social media wasn’t existent and entertainment was spent in other ways. Generation Z is the first generation to be born into an increasingly dense digital world. Therefore, it is probable there will be tech disagreements because of the drastically different environments. And although there are positives to this digital world, it is important to educate your teenager on the negatives while also listening to their point of view. This is because their perspective is crucial in understanding and planning a solution to a more balanced tech lifestyle.

2. Open-mindedness

When you are having a conversation with your teenager about their relationship with technology, it is likely that you will come across disagreements and argue over each others’ opinions of how technology should be used. When this happens, it is important to stay open-minded about their ideas on how to balance their screen time even though it may not be your ideal way. If you stay open-minded to their perspective, you may then be able to negotiate methods together that result in successful tech balance. In addition, it is important for your teenager to know you are making an effort in understanding their point of view.

Below is an example of how a conversation might evolve:

Mom: Sophie, I have noticed you have been spending too much time on your phone lately. Can you tell me why this is?

Sophie (teenager): I just like to know what is going on in my friend’s lives and I also like to post about my life.

Mom: I understand. How do you think you can reduce your screen time?

Sophie: Sometimes I try turning off notifications when I know it is affecting my productivity in a negative way, but I am always tempted to pick it back up again.

Mom: It is good you are aware of how it is affecting your work. Can I offer some advice?

Sophie: Yes.

Mom: What if you put your phone completely out of sight to limit your impulses to grab your phone? Would that help?

Sophie: That seems like a good idea because maybe if it is out of sight, it will be out of mind as well.

In this conversation, Sophie and her mom have a productive conversation that leads to a potential solution for digital wellness. Instead of completely ignoring each others’ thoughts and ideas, they remained open-minded to each others’ perspectives and alternative solutions.

3. Attentiveness and Care

One of the most important aspects of an effective conversation is knowing when to have a conversation. Noticing signs of addiction early in your child can help prevent more severe mental health issues in the future.

If you notice any of the following signs of addiction in your child, approach them with care when having a conversation.

• Do they feel urges to use social media more and more?
• Do they spend a lot of time thinking about social media or planning to use social media?
• Do they use social media to forget about personal problems?
• Do they often try to reduce use of social media without success?
• Do they become restless or troubled if unable to use social media?
• Do they use social media so much that it has had a negative impact on their job or studies?
• Does social media impact their appetite or sleep schedule?

4. Boundaries

In order to prevent addiction and manage digital wellbeing, it is important for parents to set boundaries for their children/teenagers. Parents are the primary determinant as to how a child uses technology. This is because there is no rule for when a child should get a phone or how they should use the phone. Parents must create rules for their children that emphasize a healthy balance of technology.

Below are suggestions of boundaries parents can make to help their child balance tech usage:

• Have a family conversation
• Bring up tech usage as a family
• Describe why it is important to have a balanced digital lifestyle
• Create a list of pros and cons regarding how technology impacts our lives
• Encourage the entire family to participate in the tech boundaries
• Assess your child’s tech usage
• Take the time to stay aware of your child’s screen time
• Perhaps take a week to pay attention to your child’s screen time and assess how healthy it is
• Try to keep tech out of the bedroom
• Children may not like this suggestion, however, explain to them the purpose of the bedroom is used to rest and recharge.
• Set clear consequences
• Set up clear punishments if the tech rules are violated
• Revisit the rules frequently
• Revisiting the rules are important so children continue to understand the importance of tech balance

As you approach the period of adolescence with your child, it is important to understand the psychology of this particular time in their development. Adolescence is a crucial time for self-exploration and independence. During this time, you may find that your teenager will want to branch out to explore new interests, hobbies, and passions. But one of the greatest aspects of adolescence is managing a social life and finding a group of people besides one’s family to navigate life with. Socialization during adolescence is crucial for mental and emotional health and plays a large role in the self-esteem of a teenager. This is one of the reasons parents may struggle with their teenager becoming more distant with them. Adolescents realize they are growing older and soon they will have to ‘leave the nest.’ They find it comforting to find people their own age to overcome the obstacles of the teenage years because it is something they can all relate to. Social media in particular helps teenagers connect and bond with others their own age. Understanding the importance of socialization during adolescence can help the parent empathize with their teen’s need to connect with other people besides those they are related to. However, when the need to connect and constantly feel a sense of validation from social media becomes obsessive in a teenager, this is when it is time to have a conversation.